well..
there was one incident that led me to the idea. but I know im to much of a chicken to actually do it because I also knew that my life would continue on and I'd get over it. It was just hard dealing with the pain for 5 months and I don't like dealing with emotional pain. Dealing with emotional pain scares the hell out of me. 2nd worst fear actually. Anyways, it was the beginning of my sophmore year I had currently been dating my first high school boyfriend for 8 months. He was such a sweet boy, went to church, everything you could think of and wouldn't hurt a fly, and ridiculously funny. But one day I guess the pressures of his first girlfriend got to him. And on September 10th, 2007, he broke up with me. Now the only thing that really made me more mad then hurt was when he said "I just think were better off as friends" now why would you tell somebody that after 8 MONTHS into the relationship instead of 2 weeks. Anyways, I was in a pretty big depression for the next 5 months. I completely changed. I think I was just sick of people hurting me so I lashed out and decided to be not-so-sweet Cara anymore and didn't let anybody push me around like I had let them for 15 years of my life. I'm currently trying to work my way back to that but still a little bit of the changed me. Anyways, I was hurt emotionally. I hurt myself mentally by constantly thinking about it and what I could have done different, so it made me exhausted and tired everyday for the next few months and I hurt myself physically. I almost destroyed my mom and mines relationship. So needless to say with everything that I went through for 5 months I didn't see a reason to be here and I was sick of dealing with emotional pain.
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