Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

well..
there was one incident that led me to the idea. but I know im to much of a chicken to actually do it because I also knew that my life would continue on and I'd get over it. It was just hard dealing with the pain for 5 months and I don't like dealing with emotional pain. Dealing with emotional pain scares the hell out of me. 2nd worst fear actually. Anyways, it was the beginning of my sophmore year I had currently been dating my first high school boyfriend for 8 months. He was such a sweet boy, went to church, everything you could think of and wouldn't hurt a fly, and ridiculously funny. But one day I guess the pressures of his first girlfriend got to him. And on September 10th, 2007, he broke up with me. Now the only thing that really made me more mad then hurt was when he said "I just think were better off as friends" now why would you tell somebody that after 8 MONTHS into the relationship instead of 2 weeks. Anyways, I was in a pretty big depression for the next 5 months. I completely changed. I think I was just sick of people hurting me so I lashed out and decided to be not-so-sweet Cara anymore and didn't let anybody push me around like I had let them for 15 years of my life. I'm currently trying to work my way back to that but still a little bit of the changed me. Anyways, I was hurt emotionally. I hurt myself mentally by constantly thinking about it and what I could have done different, so it made me exhausted and tired everyday for the next few months and I hurt myself physically. I almost destroyed my mom and mines relationship. So needless to say with everything that I went through for 5 months I didn't see a reason to be here and I was sick of dealing with emotional pain.

Day 04- Your views on religion

well...
I personally LOVE God. He's my number one priority. my life motto is "I Am Second"
Now i was raised in Church of Christ and that's what I'm used to but i don't judge other ways of religion. In the Church of Christ we sing without instruments. I've gone to other churches where they do and it's very weird for me but I'm not against it. When you sing you sing with all your heart to the Lord. and whether you have instruments or not doesn't necessarily matter as long as you're singing for the Lord and there plenty of ways other churches differ from the Church of Christ such as communion, preaching, being saved, and all that stuff but none of it bothers me. I'm about to join a sorority that is full of Christians but they were all raised in different churches but they all love the Lord and that's what i love! As long as you believe in him, that's good enough for me. Now that statement might suggest that I'm against Atheist. and that's not the case at all I'm friends with atheist and that doesn't bother me i still love them to death. Now don't try to debate religion with me because then I'll just get mad at you for trying to prove me wrong for something i believe in. I'm not the type of person to get mad but i will. And people who don't go to church can believe in God, that's another judgement I hate hearing. My boyfriend doesn't go to church but he believes in God. So there's a few points that i like to see as my "views" on religion!

Day 03- Your veiw on drungs and alcohol

well...
I don't approve of drugs really. the illegal kind anyway. but i don't judge people who do it. actually I'm friends with some people who do it and used to. but its their decision. now alcohol i approve. i drink with parents approval and with my parents and i know how to control myself. i don't like drunks. especially the obnoxious and mean kind. and i DO NOT approve of drinking and driving. worse kind of death in America. because it happens to innocent people. and its not fair. and I'm not sorry that those people have to live with that guilt for the rest of their life, it was their choice.

Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

In ten years...
I will be 28 and I would like to have graduated college with a BSN and married with a family. Of course that's ridiculously cliche for an "American dream" but its what i really really want. and I want to be living out in the country on possibly a ranch with a couple of horses. I want to learn to barrel race just for the fun of it, because that's something I've always wanted to do and learn.I know very well right now who i want to marry and i know the name i want to give my little girl if i have one. Haven't quite come up with a little boys name yet but it'll come to me. There's going to be rough patches in the life and to get here where i want to be, i have to work hard. but i have a great support system behind me pushing me to do my best!

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

I'm taken. <3

This boy right here is my best friend. He means the world to me. Ever since May of 09 he has completely changed my life. We've had probably the roughest patch before we became a couple. but on May 1st, 2010, he made me the happiest girl in the entire world. I can tell him absolutely anything. We don't always agree on everything, and we have our ups and downs but we know each other well enough to handle each other when one of us isn't happy. Today, we've been together as of 9 months and hopefully MUCH MUCH MUCH more to come. possibly even a lifetime. He has the sweetest family. and he loves mine with all his heart. I enjoy everything he has to offer. He treats me with respect and loves me and I love him. I don't think i've ever loved someone so much besides God and my family. I can't put into words how much this boy means to me. He's going into the Marines in May and I can't even imagine how life will be without talking to or seeing him for 3 whole months. It's going to be so tough. It hurts just thinking about it. But hopefully letters will help us through. His family is fantastic and i love them to death. I love that we have so much fun together and we can act like complete 5 year olds around each other. we color, wrestle, tickle fights, play with play-doh, and so much more. I love him and i never want to stop calling him mine <3